Getting back to it….

“How was the date?”

“Awful.”

“Oh tell me everything!”

“If I’d said it went well would you want me to tell you everything?”

“God no. I hate when you’re happy.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“So you’re not going to tell me?”

“No I’m not going to tell you.”

“I’m sorry but if we can’t laugh at the losers we meet on tindr or whatever, I don’t know what our relationship is based on!”

“Lies you told your parents and my need to pay rent.”

“L. O. Freaking. L.”

“Fine. He was an asshole to the waiter.”

“Server.”

“Whatever.”

“How was he an asshole?”

“He complained about everything!”

“To the server?”

“Yes and about the waiter.”

“Server.”

“My coffee is cold, the cup is chipped, there’s a hair in my meal.”

“Ew gross.”

“Yeah, total asshole.”

“No the hair your weirdo.”

“You’re too picky.”

“It’s why our relationship is doomed. But seriously if you found a hair you wouldn’t send it back?”

“No I’d take the hair out.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Fine but he was also such a jackass about it. So condescending!”

“To you?”

“Well no, to the wai…server.”

“Thank you.”